inspiration. Everyone Needs A Little Self-Confidence Boost Every Once In A While
Did You Know that Self-Confidence Not Only Helps You Succeed, It Has Its Own Magnetim?
Self-confidence attracts success to the person who has it. In other words, the more confidence you have, the better you perform. And, of course, the better you perform, the more successes you enjoy!
I don't know about you, but I think this is the kind of ride everyone should be able to get on! When you're confident, you're attractive and alluring. Other people want to be around you. Since people gravitate to those with self-confidence, when you have, your ability to influence and inspire soars!
You've got to drive the insecurities away and start focusing on what you do really well. Here are four great exercises that will help you uncover the talents within you, and learn how to translate those into an abundant source of confidence that you can dip into whenever you need a boost.
Self-confident people have one key ingredient others don't: They know they can do whatever they set out to do. They don't talk negatively to themselves, they don't berate their performance, and they don't compare themselves to others - they simply believe in their own talents.
Just think of what you could accomplish, if you could just diminish that voice in your head, scoffing at your attempts at success!
Banish The Negative
Everyone knows the best way to get rid of something you don't want is to replace it with something you do. In this case you have to replace your negative thinking and self talk with positive affirmations of your success and worth.
Action: List successes you've had in your life in the following categories:
List a few in each category. The magnitude or duration of the success is not important. What is important is that you focus on the things that you've accomplished and have been proud of at the time.
Now look over your list of successes and accomplishments. Too often, we come to believe we have limited strengths. We focus our energies on a small section of life where we do have a bit of confidence and don't venture beyond. That's a dangerous place to be. When life demands us to step outside of our comfort zone, we panic and, if we're not careful, we make choices that damage our confidence later on.
Having completed the above exercise, you should have a better appreciation of all your talents and abilities. To diminish that negative voice once and for all, you need to be able to quickly remind yourself of how great you are. You can rouse your mind to believe in your personal greatness by using personal affirmations.
A personal affirmation is a statement you create that affirms your worth. You say this to yourself repeatedly, as a way of reinforcing the message and driving it in. Eventually your body will catch up to your brain, and affirmations will become a natural aspect of your self-talk.
To create an affirmation statement, keep in mind the following:
- Use “I” statements. “I am _________,” rather than “It is __________.”
- Use present tense. “I am smart”, rather than “I will be smart.”
- Use positive language. “I am smart,” rather than “I am not dumb.”
Action: Thinking about the talents and successes you just recalled, write an affirmation statement about yourself in the box below that will boost your confidence and help you feel great about yourself and your future success. Describe things like the qualities you exhibit, the actions you take, and the attitudes you possess.
Repeat this statement to yourself at least three times a day until you truly believe everything you say.
Envision Your Success
Visions are important on so many levels. When you see yourself succeeding, you are fast forwarding to achieving that success. You know that, with every success, your confidence builds, so visualizing your future is a means of building on the successes you have yet achieved but know you will.
In many ways, your mind will interpret a vivid vision in the same way that it does a real experience. That’s why personal affirmations work and when supported by crystal clear images of a successful you, confidence boosts enormously.
Action: Read this exercise first and then complete it. Close your eyes and imagine success in a personal or professional endeavor that’s important to you. Examine your five senses and describe to yourself what things taste, smell, sound, look, and feel like in your successful future. Who is there with you? What are you doing? How are people reacting to you? How do you feel emotionally?
When you have a strong image in your mind, create a graphic representation of your image. The objective is to create a visually stimulating picture. You may choose to draw a scene, use shapes and colors to convey your image or even arrange single key words on the page. This is your vision, so capture it the way that suits you best.
Reframe Past Misses
Now that you’ve built up your confidence using your achievements and proven talents, it’s time to move on to the second aspect of high self-confidence – knowing you can rebound from attempts that fall short of their mark.
Having confidence is about being able to get through the tough times. Holding your head high and not becoming dissuaded from your goal is critically important to success. No one can “win” all the time. You’ve got to be resilient and be able to see setbacks as opportunities to improve. As Benjamin Franklin said, “I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
A failed attempt is really a whisper telling you to try again. Your misses serve as guideposts for the rest of your journey. They are how you know which paths to avoid in the future and they are what cause you to back up and start heading in the right direction.
There is not much victory in a success that came too easily. Sure you can set really simple goals for yourself and achieve them. It’s when you set the bar high and suffer a few bumps and bruises that success builds your confidence and affirms what you already know – that you can do ANYTHING with enough work, dedication, and conviction.
Embracing your failures as readily as your victories are a sign of deeply embedded self-confidence – the kind that won’t be eroded in the face of setbacks and the kind that will inspire you and those around you to be the best you can be.
Action: Think of a recent setback or time where you did not achieve what you intended, or which damaged your self-confidence. Then ask what feelings or beliefs about yourself and your abilities does this conjure up for you?
Briefly summarize the incident. Follow that with a statement that reaffirms your emotional response to the incident from a negative to a positive one.
For example, “I failed to get a report submitted on time. This causes me to believe/feel I am disorganized.”
Now, think of a more useful, positive or beneficial way to think about this incident and your role in it. Rather than believing you are disorganized, a better way to approach what happened is to tell yourself you need to develop a system for managing your workload. Being disorganized is a character flaw that is hard to change. Developing a workload management system is a task that can be worked on and accomplished quite readily. That’s the reframe. You are now thinking of the incident in a way that empowers you to make changes and emerge stronger and more capable and confident than before.
Action: Write down your reframed statement and make a note your emotional reaction.
Action: For the incident you worked on above, identify two more ways you could improve the situation and your reaction or response to it. By looking at any situation from different angles you can see many opportunities for growth and development. These all lead to better understanding of how to build your confidence and achieve success.
Set Confidence-Building Goals
You’re probably familiar with goal setting as a great way of organizing yourself for achievement. However, setting and achieving goals (and taking the time to celebrate their achievement) is a powerful way of building self-confidence. After all, if you’ve worked hard to achieve these goals, you’ve earned the confidence that comes with success!
Think again about the multiplying power of goal achievement. You need to supplement all your hard work building your confidence, with satisfying the goals you set for yourself. The more goals you achieve, the more confident you are, the more confident you are, the greater the chance of achieving your goals, and so on, and so on, and so on.
Your goal setting should be two-pronged.
First, you want to set goals that will get you further on your success journey. The ones that you will use to achieve the vision of yourself you created. These life goals are extremely important as they set you in the right direction and they allow you to achieve successes along your journey.
The second set of goals is meant to complement your life goals and build your confidence specifically. These goals have a short-term focus and are intended to help you feel good about what you are doing on a daily basis. They provide a source of recognition that you need to persist and to keep believing in yourself. You can develop your initial short-term goals of the reframing exercise you have just completed. Then by continuing to develop goals after incidents where you have missed targets or not achieved what you intended to, you’ll provide yourself with a steady supply of goals and accomplishments that you can rely on to build your confidence and self-esteem.
Action: For the three reframed statements you developed for yourself, create specific, short-term, achievable goals that you can begin working on immediately.
Self-Confidence Is Vital For Your Success
Without self-confidence you’ll struggle to persist, and you won’t get what you want. Some people seem to be born with an abundance of self-confidence, however it’s something that has developed in them, and can develop in you. There are many things you can do to improve your level of self-confidence, the first of which is start believing in yourself!
Then start your own fan club. As president of the club you get to decide what to focus on. Affirm your talents and wonderful attributes on a regular basis and build a grand vision of your successful self. Even before you feel confident your mind will take over and help you act with the confidence you need.
Throughout this process recognize that you will make mistakes. These are opportunities, not failures. By reframing these experiences you create more opportunities to achieve goals, improve your skills, and step closer to your dream vision. Building self-confidence is like climbing a spiral staircase. Start climbing, keep going, and walk step-by-step to the top!